Eating again after a five minute stop

Anyone who’s been on a diet or who has lived with or been friends with someone on a diet has to feel for where I am right this very minute…and that’s obsessing.

I’ve been sacrificing for the last three and a half days. Except for the bloody IKEA ginger cookies. Which kills me because what I loved most about them was the notion that they were worth practically no weight watchers points so I could eat six at a time, which by my math meant eating more. And ten cookies in one sitting was obviously satisfying….until I realised I had it wrong.

To bring my struggle to today:

I woke up this morning and weighed 142 pounds which has me down two since the weekend.

Most people, when I tell them I need to diet, tsk-tsk the notion of it because I don’t look big (and for sure my organs bring additional volume),  but I want nothing more  than to be my most comfortable weight (which is 130 pounds). I have this vision where at 130 pounds I could eat that which makes me happy and simply show caution when my weight jumps up. The problem, given that I’m up twelve right now, is that I’m having a hard time squeezing my button closed over my buffer.

There are people with bigger weight loss battles ahead of them who may, when I admit I’m pretty lucky with my metabolism, want to pull my hair out of my head one strand at a time. My problem is with how much I love food. I love eating, I love cookbooks, I love talking about food, I love cooking shows and sharing recipes…I love it all. The snag when I’m eating and thinking what next all the time, is that the button in my head that should flip to stop is jammed. I eat all day long every day and given that the years are creaking up on me and my metabolism is showing signs of a slowdown…I need to make lifestyle changes <quick!> before 12 pounds becomes 112 pounds.  Breaking my habits, limiting my servings and frequencies…it makes me shudder at the knees. I haven’t got a STITCH of discipline.

142 pounds and fibbing about weight watchers:

When I’m out there making the dieting announcement people inevitably ask how I’m going to do it and I respond automatically because I HAVE been looking up how many points things are to justify in my mind whether or not it’s worth it. But if I’m not paying a fee or actually writing things down, I probably shouldn’t be saying I’m on weight-watchers...

Excuse me for three minutes while I phone-a-friend.

Okay. Brigitte and I now have 100 dollars riding on our goals AND I’m going to start tracking what I’m eating. To show how serious I am about this, of course. Who knew six IKEA ginger cookies are actually worth three W-W points, you could replace the ten I was eating with a meal! With my diet I’m allowing myself 28-30 points a day, drinking more water, setting up an exercise routine and I’ve got a Valentine’s Day goal (2.5 pounds a week).  Let the challenge begin! 

Always,    

 Allisun

Comments

[Jeanetteleblanc]

Try The Kind Diet or Crazy Sexy Diet - I"m not a diet type of girl, but knew I had to make a change with food. These books changed something inside me (however, don't eat them if you don't want to feel bad about eating meat - just sayin:) Or, you could ignore that and take the rest of the amazing information to heart. Its about eating a certain way because you love yourself - any positive body changes are just a nice side effect :)

[Jenn]

Hey Allisun -- just "found" this via Jeanette. Jenn from iParenting, used to write Parenting without a License.

I just rejoined WW online -- it's literally the only thing that ever worked for me. Three weeks and I am down 4.2 lbs. And I weigh exactly the same as you and my goal is exactly the same as yours. Although guessing by that TV show I saw last week (so weird, I recognized you as I was flipping channels, even though I only ever saw pictures and its been years), you are taller than me because I look way, um, softer than you:)

Anyway -- glad you are blogging again!!

[Allisun]

Hi Jenn! Of course I remember you. Jenn of Calgary/Ottawa, right? If wrong, then I'm afraid I need pictures to jog my memory. When I sneeze I don't make a noise, it blows the brain cells that control memory.

Way back three days after Christmas we were at our friends feeling very ill because we were forcing ourselves to eat as much as we possibly could before we all got on the Wii Fit. When the thing told me what I was and they converted it to pounds I felt shocked, 147 pounds! Tonight we weighed in again and I was so happy to see 141 because I wasn't worse. But you're absolutely right, unless you do WW and do it properly, you're toast. I've been cutting out treats but not really sacrificing. Sad how easy it is to pack on a pound and then three when to shake it off you actually have to sacrifice.

Ok Jenn, you're the reinforcement I needed. Back to the point count!

Thanks for stopping in here. May we meet back here soon still on track!