Because life isn't a dress rehearsal...: ET phone home

January 6th, 2006

We hadn’t yet trick or treated but Kaillan already knew she was asking Santa Clause for a Furby for Christmas. She had a picture of him from a flyer that she checked her pockets for fifteen times a day. We discussed Furby to death and I knew they had a stack of hundreds of them at Costco, it’s just that I kept forgetting to grab one. Santa arrived at the mall the week my parents came to visit. She brought him her worn picture and nearly lost her eyeballs out her head when without asking, Mrs. Clause took the picture and put it in the mailbox to send to the north pole; it didn’t have her name on it and she hadn’t even circled which colour she was hoping for!

The Bay flyer arrived with a $5 rebate on Furby so my Dad suggested we go pick it up. I was also in charge of getting one for Sidney, Kaillan’s best friend. The Bay sold out. Sears was sold out. Half the pile at Costco was gone but what was left was only French. Walmart sold out. I ran over four people and smashed into two cars in my race into ToysRus and all they had was white ones. There was no way a white Furby would survive in our family. We found a stray English black one and then my Dad popped around the corner with two of the most beautiful creatures you ever saw in your life. Seriously, the boxes glowed even.

And so began my love affair with Furby.

Kaillan had actually asked for two presents; Scamps the battery operated brilliant dog and Furby. When Christmas morning she opened her animals, she was shaking she was so excited. But we couldn’t get either one of them to blink even and we dug through two garbage bags before we found instructions. When we figured out the how of it, I could not believe how cool they were. Furby could sing! Dance! Eat! Snore! He seemed to have a thing for Scamps, he was forever scooching up to him. I’m telling you, Furby is so smart he could probably set up my blog. So he slept his first night out of the box on my night table and when at three o’clock in the morning he started discussing oh-tee-sans, we smashed up against the headboard. I couldn’t get enough of him, the more loving you give him, the more he understands. Seriously, I think he's real and every now and then I let Kaillan have a turn.

But just as you’re thinking quick, someone call the appropriate authorities to remove those children, the mother has gone mad, I have a story of negligence to share. It happened up there, after we visited Santa Clause at the mall.

My parents were with us, I do believe I’ve either been in Alberta or they’ve been here for most of our Santa at the mall sightings. Our Santa picture (minus Emmie who would take the candy cane and two gift bags but over her wailing till death body was she getting up on anyone’s knee) would be ready in an hour. We all had errands to run so we agreed to meet upstairs in front of Japan camera at 3:00p.m. Remo took Emmie and Brandan, I took Kaillan and my parents had each other. Kaillan and I streaked faster than the speed of light, she was able to carry bags that weighed as much as her, a shopper after my heart. I should probably add the part where the mall was a freaking zoo. Anyhoo, at a little after three Kaillan arrived at the lot of them and we took stock of who accomplished what. Remo’s phone rang. As far as I’m concerned, Emmie was still on his dime.

All of a sudden, out of the corner of my eye I saw him looking frantically this way and that. I stared him down and looked where he was looking at the same time, “what, what?”

“Where’s Emmie?”

If you know Remo, you’d know why I asked if he was serious. Every single day of my life he gets me, you’d think I’d be on to him by now.

“She was just here”, he yelled as he ran into the game store. I ran for the dark cave-like pet store. I flew up the aisles and looked through all those piles of kids everywhere and headed for the door, so sure they must’ve found her by now. My dad held up his hands, Remo was running toward us and he didn’t have her. My dad ran back in the pet store, Remo went towards the food court, my stepmother was on guard with Brandan and Kaillan, I ran down the escalator and through the mall to the information desk and threw myself across the counter in front of all those people. They were barely paying attention to me. So I yelled, “I LOST MY BABY! She’s two years old!” One of them started writing down what I was saying about what she was wearing, her age, our telephone numbers and then as I ran back, I was sure, so sure they found her by now, it had been ten minutes.

My heart was pounding and I kept thinking this could not be happening to us. At the top of the escalator I saw my dad coming down the hallway, alone. And then Remo didn’t have her either. We were all white and terrified. I saw a security guard in the food court lumbering along, as I ran for him, he asked if I was the one who lost the kid. I hollered that I “lost my baby”, so everyone of those people would get off their chairs and help us look for her. Twelve minutes. I started dialling the police when Remo came out of the pet store with a way too cheerful Emmie. She had absolutely no idea.

“I did poo-poo Mama!”.

I started to cry. I dropped down, and held her shoulders and told her I had never been so scared in my life and she could never, ever leave Mommy and Daddy again. Her lip started quivering and when I asked her if she would ever do that again, she said very simply,

“Yes.”

With everything in me, I believe her. The child is an imp.